Parents: December is here. The holidays are supposed to be a time of memories, traditions, helping others and celebrating the giving spirit. Unfortunately, our best intentions can get buried under piles of party invites, recitals, charity work, gift mailing, family photo shoots and page-long gift lists.

Just thinking about holidays with kids can cause stress overload. Even something as simple as sending cards can cause palpitations (are yours done yet?). How do parents create the holidays we've always wanted for our family without losing ourselves, and the real meaning, in the process? Here are a few ideas to help infuse some peace, fun, smiles and meaning. Good luck…

Involve the kids in holiday activities.

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1. Practice Gratefulness. Continue on the spirit of being grateful from Thanksgiving, and have kids think of one thing they are grateful for every day in December—similar to an Advent calendar. This helps later when you teach about giving.

2. Make a Special December Calendar. Use the biggest one you can find. Make it out of butcher paper, or use a large ink blotter desk calendar. Decorate it with holiday colors and stickers, and have the family decide which events to add. When a person has an upcoming event, decorate the day and celebrate it. Now everyone can see for themselves why some parties are just too much—and you are not the Grinch.

3. Have a Cookie Party. Think of special things you can do as a family that are easy: cookie baking, gingerbread house making or just driving around looking at lights. Cut corners where you can—buy pre-made cookie dough, and just sprinkle or frost instead of making it all by hand.

4. Know When to Say No and Yes. Say no to the temptation of buying the brand-new Nintendo DXZ345 with the extra holographic-smart car steering headset when you don’t have the money. (Don’t stress; it doesn’t exist.) But say yes to things like friends coming over to drop off a gift, even if your house is messy.

5. Start Silly Traditions. When you’re driving to the post office, turn on that holiday station and sing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” with the kids as loud as you can. In spite of their pleas, wear reindeer antlers for one whole day as you take the kids places. (Five and under will love you; Six and up will disappear.) Our silly tradition is that everyone must wear Christmas pajamas one evening while we drive and look at lights.

6. Giving Day. It’s nice to practice giving in many ways: Pick one special day to do something for others, and make it a big deal. Call it “Giving Day” on your calendar, and talk about it to build anticipation. Pick out a toy for Toys for Tots, and go together to drop it off. I like doing Angel Tree because you can choose the age and gender of a child to help.

7. Put on Your Own Holiday Concert. Dim the lights, put out candles, use old Christmas lights or whatever you have around. Put together a little program, and have someone be the stage manager or emcee. Flip on the video camera, turn on the music and let the kids run their own show.

8. Repeat, Repeat. Whatever your beliefs or traditions are about this time of year, reinforce and repeat them night after night with your kids. Pick out stories to read and re-read over and over to them. No matter how crazy things are that day, take at least five minutes to read something with meaning to them.

9. Have Siblings Give to Each Other. Capitalize on this time of year to foster good relations between brothers and sisters. Try taking each one aside and talking about how they can bless their siblings with a gift. Have kids make a coupon book with things like “free room cleaning” or “free dish night.” Make trips to the dollar store to have them actually pick out something for their brother or sisters. Discuss with them what their sibling likes or needs, and have them pick, purchase and wrap it all by themselves.

10. Breathe. One day we’ll be the ones longing to be caroled to or visited with homemade cookies. For now, don’t stress, take a deep breath and look closer at the many gifts that are offered to us this time of year…OK, now go get those cards in the mail.