Dear Alondra,

I've had a longstanding argument with my husband. He refuses to wear a wedding ring. It's not a matter of my not trusting him, but the fact that he didn't say he would do this when we were engaged. It's also the fact that he doesn't have a job that makes wearing a ring dangerous. Now, all I'm hearing from him is the royal wedding and how he isn't going to wear a wedding ring because Prince William isn’t! The difference there is -- everybody knows who he is and that he’s married. I'd appreciate him wearing a ring, and the peace of mind that wherever he is, women can see that he's married. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it? I'm getting to the point where I want to "ring" his neck!??

Annoyed in National City

Dear Annoyed,

It’s amazing how important the little things can be, but unfortunately, there are a few things that make this a tough issue to tackle. First, I think it is a matter of you not trusting him, at least a little. If you were 100 percent sure that your man wouldn’t cheat, then it wouldn’t matter if other women saw a ring or not. Here’s why: the thought would never cross your mind. Second, why doesn’t your husband want to cooperate with your simple request? And no, it isn’t too much to ask of him! Ask him calmly why he doesn’t want to wear the ring that you both chose to honor your marriage with, then listen carefully.

Pay attention to what he doesn’t like about wearing a ring, and then be honest with yourself. You know him best and only you know what your gut truly says, so if you feel like he is being shady then call him out. Ask him why he doesn’t want to do this simple thing if even just to make you happy? Tell him it shakes your confidence in his desire to be “off the market.” You can even throw in something like, “I’m proud to be your wife and to wear the ring you gave me. I’d like you to do the same because it’s important to me.” You can also think of a deal where he wears the ring at certain times, such as when you are around, or, if you prefer, he wears it when you aren’t around and takes it off at home. Regardless, be sure to listen to what he says and see how he reacts. I’d say if he’s really defensive, it’s an obvious red flag and there may be more going on than you think.

You also say it’s a long standing argument, but you don’t mention any of his points other than his silly Prince William comparison. I agree with you, everyone knows he's the Prince and that he is now married. Personally, I haven’t been following the royal wedding hub bub, but I do feel it’s important to note that a lot of people are now choosing not to wear rings because they feel it is an antiquated ritual and some even feel a ring is a sign of possession of one another rather than a loving union. I think it should be up to you and your husband, but you guys should be on the same page. Most importantly, if you really trust and love him then you should make peace with it, let it go and enjoy your lovely ring or throw it on a necklace ala Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City!

Xoxo,

Alondra