Hi Alondra,

I have recently moved to a new state and left my house and friends behind. I have come to a great job, which I enjoy and it’s well paid, but the people at work are not open to going out afterwards for a drink or anything like that, they seem to race out the door to go home. I am having trouble making friends, and I am sooooo lonely. I am also single, having had my heart broken 12 months ago, so going out alone is a bit tricky and embarrassing. Any suggestions??

Thanks,

New town blues

Dear Blues,

It’s always hard to start over in a new town, so you’ve got to look on the bright side of things to help you get through it, girl! Remember that you’ve got a great job, so you’re smart and very capable. You are in a new place, so you’re adventurous and brave. Most importantly, you’re in a brand new town that is just waiting to get to know you. Also, I think you’re entitled to extra points for getting far away from whoever was crazy enough to break your heart because don't forget, you're a catch!

You don’t specifically state you are new to San Diego, so let me start with a few pointers that can help you out in any town. First, I’d stay away from coworkers after hours until you really get to know them and have passed all evaluations! I’d also stay away from your typical bar scenario because we all know how sad a solo trip can be. I know it sounds good in theory for a girl to do, but it rarely works out as planned, and usually ends with us being annoyed by the wrong guys, or worse, ignored!

If you really want to make friends, you’ve got to do your best to get over being embarrassed and start off by meeting more like-minded people to hang out with. You want to mingle with people who like the same things you do -- and I promise I won’t ask you to walk up to strangers in the ice cream aisle because they also like Rocky Road. You can find folks that you’ll have something in common with by checking out more specific venues, such as going to a jazz club or, depending on your preference, try going to a country music or a Salsa bar -- they can be a lot of fun! Go early to get in on the lesson that’s usually included in the cover, and if it’s a work night, stay for only an hour or two. Also, men are more apt to ask you to dance at a partners style dance club, and at least you won’t spend the night alone or ignored. It’s a win-win.

There are all kinds of things to do and places to see just pick up a local entertainment guide or go online to see what’s cooking in your area. Sandiego.com and other similar sites always have new and interesting things to check out to help you decide if you prefer perusing your local farmer’s market or if you’re a die-hard museum lover. You can also find loads of nice people at an exercise, dance or arts & crafts class at a community center or college. Plus, you’d be amazed at how hot a guy working clay in a ceramic class can be! Just be sure to do what you like in order to shake off the blues and before you know it, the right people will be coming into your life!

xoxo,

Alondra