That was my mom on the phone.

Now she’s got aftershocks.

Five point nine on Tuesday.

Four point five last night.

Since when did Baltimore, Maryland start getting earthquakes?

What in the hell is going on?

***

As everyone knows by now, the east coast has suffered an earthquake. The strongest to hit the region in 114 years.

Quakes happen when stress in the earth's crust builds to a point of no return; they are of course more typical to the West Coast where the geology is younger, where the numerous fault lines act as geologic release valves.

On the East Coast, quakes are exceedingly rare. Because the crust is one solid plate, formed hundreds of millions of years ago, the shaking seems stronger. Tuesday's rattler came just after lunch on a deep an ancient fault near a small town called Mineral, Va.—87 miles southwest of our nation’s capitol. The effects were felt from South Carolina to Rhode Island. “One of the strongest in modern history,” experts say.

Emergency phone lines lit up. Flights and telephone service was disrupted; power to a nuclear plant was temporarily lost. Office workers scurried into the streets of New York and Washington, emptying buildings, clogging cell phone networks, triggering an outpouring of fear and Twitter updates, reminding everyone of 9/11—only this time you could actually feel something monumental beneath your feet.

In Baltimore, my mother, accustomed as she is to the usual array of East Coast acts of nature, went straight into her guest bathroom, seeking a room without windows in which to weather the storm. (Remember: find a door frame, people!)

Oddly, in the aftermath of the quake, there wasn’t a whole lot of physical destruction.

One detail I did notice: The Washington Monument was damaged.

That strong and up thrust symbol of unwavering American determination— known to locals as the Stone Bone—has a crack in it’s pyramid-shaped crown.

Which got me thinking.

Maybe there really is a god?

Or goddess?

***

That’s right. I’m saying it.

Maybe this earthquake is a message.

Maybe it’s no coincidence that the worst seismic activity to occur in the modern history of the east coast happened so closely to…. Washington DC.

It’s a widely held notion that our present Congress, the 112th, is the worst such aggregation ever brought together. Meanwhile, the Senate has only voted half as often as it did during it’s own last session—infamous forconstipation. More than a year before the 2012 presidential election, minds and pocket books are ever more focused on votes and contributions, on taking popular or obstructive positions, whichever is more politically expedient.

Nothing’s getting done. It’s clear to anyone who takes a moment to notice. The game of politics has just about overtaken the rule of law.

The way Whitewater and Monica Lewinsky overtook the agenda during the Clinton Administration.

The way Bush the younger’s ridiculous hunt for Weapons of Mass Destruction overtook his. I’m still mad about the outright lies. Aren’t you? Forget the hanging chads. We’ve still got boots on the ground. More killed and wounded every day.

And now we have our present deadlock, Obama vs. the Republicans. Our fragile economy has become the playing field.

Can we really afford this anymore?

As the politicians squabble, I see more signs for garage sales popping up every weekend.

It’s time to wake up.

Even the planet is getting pissed. Mother Earth: She’s tired as hell and she’s not gonna take it anymore.

And just to prove her point, she sent Hurricane Irene.